Forever Free..

Maybe look at my past & the people who “love me the most” have told me. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I’m immature. I’ll never make friends. I’m not worthy of a nice guy. I’m a liar. I’m a bitch because I’m “too honest”. You wonder why I buy so much makeup. Why I do crazy diets. Why I act the way I do. Why I date the men I do. I didn’t think I was as big of a piece of shit as I was told I am tonight.. thank you.

that having a year done of college by the time you graduate high school, still remaining a virgin & being 18 years old & waiting til marriage, being a sunday school teacher, having a clean record, getting accepted into a prestigious college in Minnesota which only a fourth of freshman get into, being a nominated leader in my highschool, helping my elderly neighbors with whatever they like, & holding up a job on top of everything were things to be ashamed of. Sorry that I disappointed you Mom.

I used to be happy. All the time. I used to be able to talk to anyone & everyone without a problem.. And then you hurt me & I built up a wall higher & stronger than anyone could every reach over. I’m scared to even give someone a shot. I always say.. ”it’ll happen when its meant to”.. But honestly I think I’m the preventing it now. I put off the guys that want me because I don’t want to start over. I don’t want to get attached. I could like you & talk to you every single day.. & you’d never know. What is wrong with me?