I’m beyond scared. I don’t think you’ll ever be able to know. I love you so, but I need to start over new and sadly, right now, that means without you. I miss us, and I miss you and who we were together. But that’s not who you are anymore, and I’m not sure if I’m still the same either. I loved you more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything in my life. I miss you and our late nights. I don’t know where we got lost and apparently you don’t either. I need to be strong, even though I’m shaking in my boots. I cry daily missing you, although you’re only ten feet away. In three days, we’re both moving on, and I can’t stop it or stop you from leaving. Letting go is something I’ve battled with all my life. But to begin the rest of my life, that’s something I need to do. Maybe someday we’ll run into each other and sparks will fly and you’ll remember how much you used to love me. Please don’t ever think I didn’t love you, or that I don’t. No matter what has happened, you will always be my first love. I’m never going to stop loving you. It sounds cliche, but I know that no one will ever be able to replace you, at least no one will ever be your replacement to me. Maybe we’ll end up together or on different sides of the world. Whether we talk or not, you have something of my no one else has ever gotten, and I have the same of you. Don’t lose yourself in the hype of being a college boy. A girl who is worth it won’t ever give up on you, or give in easy. I fell in love with the goofy, bench-laying, sprinkler-running, surprise-kiss-giving boy. Although, I’d love to resent you for all you’ve done. I don’t and I won’t. I love you, always have since the first time I saw you & honestly I always will. No matter where we end up, or with who, whether we’re talking or not, I will always wish the best for you. Someday, I hope my future daughter will find someone who loves her as much as you loved me, and I hope it never stops for them, just like I hoped it would never stop for us. I hope she experiences the boy who will do anything to see her and do everything to make her happy just like you did for me. I hope she returns the same to him. & I hope to God she’ll never have to feel the heart-broken, loneliness I do right now as you pass me without even looking. That’s all. I hope she has the happily ever after we didn’t.
Moving on starts now.
